Responding To Insults

There are many ways of responding to insults constructively that keep you from getting sucked into a negative whirl. In fact, you can even approach the experience of being insulted as an opportunity to grow. But, first you have to realize that being insulted can have a positive outcome. the insult may have come to you to clear karma - to balance something negative you might have done in the past. Or, it may have come to help you build sgtrength and endurance, to teach you not to respond impulsively. Perhaps you are being invited to develop compassion, to look more deeply at who the other person really is and what they're going through.

If you do not take the insult personally, it cannot hurt you at all. Realize that the person who insulted you had to be in pain to behave that way. You could respond with kindness; you could offer understanding in return.

www.becomefearless.org
Dr. Brenda Shoshanna
topspeaker@yahoo.com

Acknowledging Others

When you acknowledge others, it's like giving water to a thirsty plant.when you acknowledge someone, you offer honest, positive feedback about what they've done that has been meaningful to you. Usually we take everything for granted, including that the other person knows how we feel. They do not. Everyone thrives when they are acknowledged, yet most of the feedback we give to others has to do with what they have done wrong. We let them know when we're upset. But how about when we're happy or pleased. How about when they've gone that extra mile for us? Do we just feel we have it coming? Do we take the time to say thank you, or acknowledge the extra effort they've made.

Acknowledgment is a simple, but powerful force that allows others to feel appreciated, respected and supported, rather than feeling as though their efforts had little effect at all. Acknowledge someone by mentioning what they have done that was meaningful to you. Then let it sink in. Don't wait for a certain response, or expect or demand it. Let your acknowledgment be freely given and freely received. Both you and the other person will feel nourished, uplifted and inspired to do more.

www.becomefearless.org
Dr. Brenda Shoshanna
topspeaker@yahoo.com

The Gift of Change

There is an incredible idea we all live with that everything will and should stay the same. We cling to this notion for dear life and are continually surprised when things we love leave, when relationships fade, our body changes, our fortunes fluctuate. When all of this happens, as it naturally must, we may even feel personally insulted or betrayed. Many say, “how can this be happening to me?” Others feel victimized by change, as if it’s living proof that they are failures. They have failed to hold everything together, to keep things the same. They have failed to have their expectations realized, expectations which did not factor in, the inevitable process of change.

You Cannot Step Into The Same River Twice

The Greek philosopher Heraclitus tells us that “you cannot step into the same river twice.” The next moment you step into the river, not only is the river different, but you are different as well. Your body temperature has changed, your mood, the moment. . You have been impacted by all that has gone on. The river too has undergone changes, it has washed over rocks, swished the underbrush, tossed different fish inside it. The river is different and so are you. How beautiful and thrilling. .

However, many do not feel that change is beautiful and thrilling. They find it frightening, resist it and do all they can to block it out. They set up dams to hold it back; rigid beliefs and ideas that seek to contain the flow. This resistance to change causes real pain.

If not for the process of constant change, no growth would be possible. You would not be able to tell the difference between childish infatuation and real compassion. After you breathed in, you could not breathe out. A child could not go from sitting to crawling. Change is your friend. Change is a gift. It is crucial that you learn to see it that way.

www.becomefearless.org
Dr. Brenda Shoshanna
topspeaker@yahoo.com

Restoring The Self

There are many recovery groups these days; groups for alcohol, drug abuse, relationship abuse, sexual addiction, eating disorders, addictions of all kinds. How about recovery of the Self? Addictions and obsessions are fueled by hunger for the true Self, by the emptiness of life without it. Once the Self is recovered, equilibrium is established and everything else falls into place.

In the Practice of Fearlessness, it is crucial to know who you are and who you are not - what is false and unworkable in your life, where you are living someone else's dream. You must know what feels disturbing, fundamentally out of synch with who you are. It's important to acknowledge that which you cannot do, that which is not for you.

So many of us spend our lives twisting ourselves to conform to the expectations of others and completely lose touch with what is real for them. Families are famous for projecting their imags and demands on members. People "in love" can do the same. However, these images which are projected onto others can be lethal. They cause pain, distortion and lack of self acceptance, lack of knowing who we truly are.






Based on Fearless: The 7 Principles of Peace of Mind
www.becomefearless.org Dr. Brenda Shoshanna topspeaker@yahoo.com

Building Fearless Relationships

Fear is a great factor in relationships. It confuses our mind, undermines our confidence and causes us to make unhealthy choices. But it is easy to build fearless relationships when we pinpoint the causes of fear, look it in the eye, and release this fear from our minds and hearts.

A great source of fear is rejection by others. Not aware that we have rejected ourselves, we become overly hungry for the approval of others. Rather than seeing relationships as a place of safety and support, they become dangerous. They become a place where we are constantly being tested to see if we measure up. In fact, we are constantly testing ourselves. If our partner is happy, if we've won the person of our choice, then we think we've succeeded and are worthwhile. If our partner leaves, if we can't get the person we long for, we decide we are failures and not deserving of love.

What a huge mistake! To build fearless relationships, we have to take a few steps back and start by building a fearless relationship with ourselves. We must release fear of rejection by others and stop rejecting ourselves.

Notice three ways you reject yourself. Stop it right now. Don't do it today. Turn it around and accept yourself, just as you are. Find ways in which you are lovable, this very moment. Start by accepting that.

(More to come)













www.becomefearless.orgDr. Brenda Shoshannatopspeaker@yahoo.com

The Truth About Life's Challenges

The Truth About Life’s Challenges

(Living From Our Inner Wisdom)


“The great gate is open, but travelers seek everywhere”
Eshin

In the midst of our lives, hungry, thirsty and often weary, there comes a moment when we stop and wonder, “Is this all there is? Is there another way to live my life that will bring the joy and contentment that eludes me?”
Caught in the patterns of our lives, each of us has an intuition of something beyond the way we are now living. This something has the power to dispel sorrow and transform our lives into one of wholeness and joy. It has the power to heal division and offer the strength, compassion and refreshment we all desire.

This is what happens as we live from the wisdom within, our true nature, the essence of who we are. Rather than seek to fulfill everyone else’s beliefs and expectations, when we turn within for wisdom and guidance we have a way of seeing things differently. Rather than respond automatically, we are true to ourselves, to our own perception and vision and then have the opportunity arises to look at the world through fresh eyes. As we do this, we can often grow like flowers, planted in the soil of our daily concerns.

This may also be called, living our lives from the inside out, trusting ourselves and our own intuition. As we begin to do this, we develop a new way of knowing and of being in the world. We do not analyze, explain or justify what happens. Rather than try to mold or control our experience, we simply make friends with it, become acquainted, let it instruct us and be our guide.

First Steps

As we embark upon this pathway, there are certain pointers and warnings which are helpful. Some are listed below: As they become part of your daily lives, you will easily and naturally see how your relationships benefit as well.

Pointers and Warnings

Take a deep breath. We are not going anywhere fast. In fact, we are returning – back to our original home. Put down fantasies, hopes, expectations for a moment. Just simply learn to be where you are. Sit still without moving, and take in all that is going on now. Don’t judge it, hate it, push it away. Be with everything, just as it is. Including yourself.

Pointer 1 - Stop Looking For A Quick Fix

A great danger in our lives is looking for a quick fix, believing there are all kinds of wise ones around who have the answers for our lives. That is not the point here. As they say, “Don’t put a head on your head. What’s wrong with your own, anyway?”

Pointer 2 - Give Up Unnecessary Pressure

Most of the time we create all kinds of goals and drive ourselves crazy to reach them. We measure our progress, compare ourselves to others, judge ourselves relentlessly. This is not our way. Here we focus upon each breath, each day, each moment and experience it totally. One complete breath brings the next. This path is made by walking.

Pointer 3 - Go Back To The Beginning

Many are constantly seeking more and more, exploring new territories, ideas, relationships. They then feel they are advancing and gaining ground. However, many rush forward without really knowing where they are going. Once they arrive, they quickly set a new destination and start rushing to it again.

Our way is to return to the beginning. We stop, sit down, look within. We remember where we came from, who we are and where we are headed. We also remember to take care of our simple lives as well as the lives of others along the way.

By returning to our original nature, we remember how to sit, breathe, eat, play and re-claim the excitement, joy and adventure we felt as children, but lost along the way.

“The plum tree of my hut,
It couldn’t be helped,
It bloomed.”