Mistakes Are Your Friend

Of course we'll all be fearful and live with constriction when we're so afraid of making mistakes. But, there's nothing wrong with making mistakes. Mistakes are natural, inevitable, part of the process of growth and learning. You can't get up if you don't fall down. A child would never walk if they were afraid of falling. When we take action, we always learn. Whatever happens is our teacher. Why call it a mistake? Perhaps it was an unexpected outcome? Okay. There's even more to learn and discover from an unexpected result. Why do we punish ourselves for that? Who labels it a mistake? Instead, we might just say, we did something and something happened..now we'll do something else. You can't move forward if you fear failure, fear making mistakes. Why don't we turn it around and say, it's good to make a mistake. It means I've taken a chance. I've stood up my fear and become stronger than it.

www.becomefearless.org
Dr. Brenda Shoshanna
topspeaker@yahoo.com

Acknowledging Others

When you acknowledge others, it's like giving water to a thirsty plant.when you acknowledge someone, you offer honest, positive feedback about what they've done that has been meaningful to you. Usually we take everything for granted, including that the other person knows how we feel. They do not. Everyone thrives when they are acknowledged, yet most of the feedback we give to others has to do with what they have done wrong. We let them know when we're upset. But how about when we're happy or pleased. How about when they've gone that extra mile for us? Do we just feel we have it coming? Do we take the time to say thank you, or acknowledge the extra effort they've made.

Acknowledgment is a simple, but powerful force that allows others to feel appreciated, respected and supported, rather than feeling as though their efforts had little effect at all. Acknowledge someone by mentioning what they have done that was meaningful to you. Then let it sink in. Don't wait for a certain response, or expect or demand it. Let your acknowledgment be freely given and freely received. Both you and the other person will feel nourished, uplifted and inspired to do more.

www.becomefearless.org
Dr. Brenda Shoshanna
topspeaker@yahoo.com

Restoring The Self

There are many recovery groups these days; groups for alcohol, drug abuse, relationship abuse, sexual addiction, eating disorders, addictions of all kinds. How about recovery of the Self? Addictions and obsessions are fueled by hunger for the true Self, by the emptiness of life without it. Once the Self is recovered, equilibrium is established and everything else falls into place.

In the Practice of Fearlessness, it is crucial to know who you are and who you are not - what is false and unworkable in your life, where you are living someone else's dream. You must know what feels disturbing, fundamentally out of synch with who you are. It's important to acknowledge that which you cannot do, that which is not for you.

So many of us spend our lives twisting ourselves to conform to the expectations of others and completely lose touch with what is real for them. Families are famous for projecting their imags and demands on members. People "in love" can do the same. However, these images which are projected onto others can be lethal. They cause pain, distortion and lack of self acceptance, lack of knowing who we truly are.






Based on Fearless: The 7 Principles of Peace of Mind
www.becomefearless.org Dr. Brenda Shoshanna topspeaker@yahoo.com

Building Fearless Relationships

Fear is a great factor in relationships. It confuses our mind, undermines our confidence and causes us to make unhealthy choices. But it is easy to build fearless relationships when we pinpoint the causes of fear, look it in the eye, and release this fear from our minds and hearts.

A great source of fear is rejection by others. Not aware that we have rejected ourselves, we become overly hungry for the approval of others. Rather than seeing relationships as a place of safety and support, they become dangerous. They become a place where we are constantly being tested to see if we measure up. In fact, we are constantly testing ourselves. If our partner is happy, if we've won the person of our choice, then we think we've succeeded and are worthwhile. If our partner leaves, if we can't get the person we long for, we decide we are failures and not deserving of love.

What a huge mistake! To build fearless relationships, we have to take a few steps back and start by building a fearless relationship with ourselves. We must release fear of rejection by others and stop rejecting ourselves.

Notice three ways you reject yourself. Stop it right now. Don't do it today. Turn it around and accept yourself, just as you are. Find ways in which you are lovable, this very moment. Start by accepting that.

(More to come)













www.becomefearless.orgDr. Brenda Shoshannatopspeaker@yahoo.com

New Ways of Healing Suffering

When pain comes into our lives, (whether emotionally or physically) we usually tense up, fight our problems, try to figure a solution, or depend upon our logical minds. We feel we must overpower our problems with expertise. As soon as we feel pain or discomfort, we immediately try to stop it from happening and look for some way to soothe what we are going through. This orientation leads to increasing stress and a never ending battle with anything upsetting that goes on. After one problem is conquered, another arises. There is little room for peace of mind.

We do not stop and wonder what exactly the pain is saying to us – is there a lesson to be learned? In the Emotional Balancing Method, we do something different. We learn how to stop, listen and discover the lessons the suffering is trying to teach us. Suffering often comes when we feel defeated or overly exhausted. The distress may be the only way we can give themselves permission to stop, rest, and make much needed changes in our lives. Rather than tense up to fight our problems, there is another way to approach them that allows natural healing energies and understanding to flow.

In order to do this, it is important to learn how to stop, pay attention and respect all that comes to us. It is as if we were re-focusing a camera, receiving our experience through a different lens. As we do so, we see that pain is not bad. It arises from lack of balance. Our suffering can be seen as a messenger. W hen we learn how to respect it, listen to it, and ultimately release it, healing begins in all kinds of ways.

Most of the time we are reluctant to notice the quality of our lives, moment by moment. We are all experts at brushing things under the carpet. Then the carpet begins to roll up at the corners, and we feel we are coming unglued. Our suffering demands that we now pay attention to all that has been unattended to. Stop and listen to me, it pleads. We learn to "dialogue" with our pain. As we do so, we find the suffering is holding a gift in its hands, and an entirely new life begins.

Learning To Listen

We usually listen only to part of ourselves. The rest is rejected. But no matter what we are rejecting, soon or later we must come up against it and face it straight on. Rejecting something never makes it go away. In fact, it will come back time and again, just for you to accept it. Everything needs to be loved and accepted, including our pain. When we allow ourselves to be present to the pain, to listen to what it has to say, incredible changes can happen.

Simply close your eyes, stop fighting, and ask what the pain is saying to you, what does it need right now? Then become very quiet and listen deeply. An answer may not come right away. Patience is needed. This attitude is called making friends with the pain. Answers come in different ways. Some hear answers within. Others see images, some have dreams. In this process you learn to be open to all that comes and in this openness, you learn. As you do this process over and over, fear diminishes and changes that are needed often take place on their own naturally. Try and see.